An open book with words still warm from reading.
That’s the goal here. Publishing a manuscript that takes you from page to heart and back. It’s more than writing though. In order for that to happen besides luck, it’s understanding how it’s done by developing relationships and connections and marketing and all the other crap I’ve never cared about.
Didn’t need to, or should I say that was never my endgame. Creating. That’s what mattered. Never a thought about anything but the process and the product, be it a record or a menu or searching for interesting (to me) subjects to write about and done in pure boomer fashion because I wanted to. Because it was inside of me needing to get out.
100’s of recordings, 3 manuscripts written, 40 plus years traveling the world cooking and playing music without a thought of “will they like it or will it sell?”
It’s more than that. When finished- if someone else enjoys the end product that’s just gravy. Happy they do, but not created for them unless I’m being paid and then it takes on a more mercenary stance, guided, but still un-compromised.
Otherwise I cook for myself. I play for myself. I write for myself. My motivation is not fame and fortune but pleasure and release.
When I oversee the cooking of 500 meals and get 3 back, or see food from a plate being scraped into the garbage by a dishwasher, I’m pissed. The flip side being when I see someone enjoying their meal or my music or writing, I view it as validation that my efforts were not for nothing. Not just for me but for the select few that are on the same wavelength and get what I do, and that was enough.
But now, actively seeking a place to put my work is way different than just creating for moi.
A different approach and change in mindset is needed, one I reluctantly am trying to get on board with and am not comfortable inhabiting.
Truth is, I’ve rarely looked for work as it seems to come my way. But now I have an agenda and in order to succeed have to change that way, and despite my new efforts it’s hard to tell if it’s working. A frustrating game I’d prefer not to play because I’m not comfortable even going through the motions. I’ve been all in on doing things I love and instant gratification, and now am faced along with every other creative trying to find a home for their work, with a world I’ve never been cut out for.
On a page, stage or restaurant I’m good. If you want to samba or eat, I’m your guy. Other things, not so much.
Embarking on this project to get Home Cookin’- The Stories Behind The Food published, I’m motivated by helping people understand others by shining a light on their lives- but making the necessary personal adjustments remains to be seen while I try to fine tune my mental block.
I have found writing groups, and/ or classes to be helpful to me as I develop a practice- to write.
it’s not the writing. it’s the marketing.