While getting good phone from a friend, the mensch factor came up.
Expounding on good timing and luck (and the need for it) we spoke about how people, in this case my phone mate, can make positive differences in someone’s life. The mensch factor was how I described it while acknowledging my thanks for her efforts on my behalf. Selfless acts of kindness. Traits decent, noble people possess.
We all need them and conversely can be them.
It’s not hard. If there’s a figurative (or literal) door closed and you help open it, you’re a mensch. Feeling depressed and someone makes you laugh? They’re the mensch. Fighting the good-fight on someone else’s behalf- a mensch indeed.
Ingrained in my psyche early on, whenever I’d get bitchy (often) I see my father shaking his finger at me saying “we’re not just here to consume, you MUST contribute as well.” A sentiment that became reflex- like striking your knee with a rubber hammer makes it kick.
We cleaned temple basements for “bazaars”. We did similar for the Hadley School For the Blind and an educational and vocational aid society for disadvantaged children. My aunt ran it and was a leading advocate early on for human rights and helping those in need- a mensch to the tenth degree. We volunteered at book fairs and supported civil rights organizations and unions like the IGWA (International Garment Workers) who’s infamous leader David Dubinsky was a friend of my shmata* selling family.
A golden rule-good karma-leave the campsite better than you found it kinda thing.
The truth is the giver gets the better end of it. Very little compares to the feeling of helping someone achieve something that would have been way harder without your help. The most difficult thing I ever volunteered to do gave me the most satisfaction. Not in the moment but after the fact. I taught a woman to drive over about 15 months. English was her 5th language (barely) and her culture couldn’t have been more different. Besides time consuming it was often maddening, difficult and scary.
But she got her license (after 3 attempts) bought a van and for the first
time in her life has some agency over her future. Women don’t drive where she’s from, or wear jeans.
Now she does both and is looking for a better job now that she’s not beholden to the bus.
Take note- if you have the capacity to help someone or do something in some meaningful way, don’t hesitate. Embrace your inner mensch. I like to believe someone did the same for my family when they came to America and extended a hand or a meal or their precious time.
What’s this got to do with publishing? The idea germinated from being the recipient of a kind gesture regarding my manuscripts but is universal.
They need? You’ve got it or can do it? Open that door and help someone walk through. That’s what doors are for and fwiw, we need more doors (and tables) than walls.
*shmata- yiddish word for rag or clothing
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Alan Lake
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Lovely.
thank you
Love this one💜 very timely as well given today’s climate!
thank you
You had me at mensch Alan. I was raised by my parents to strive to be a mensch as a standard.
It was really quite simple once I embraced the qualities and attributes associated with being a mensch. Treat people with respect, offer to help when possible, and most importantly, make sure you make sure the people you are with are heard and acknowledged whenever and wherever possible.
On the rare occasion when someone gives me the compliment of being a mensch, I can’t help but glow. It makes my day and inspires me to pay it forward.
Thanks for the reminder.
between you and i, the friend on the phone was M